Not only because, as I've already explained, she's off-track on this one, but also because, honestly, no matter how hard she tries, she’s anything BUT sexy! It’s no secret that people want to see her because she’s famous, not because they think that she’s hot… but, suppose you’ve never seen her, you DO have to go check on her, and for that you have three options:
1) you go see her on your own before or after my "SLOFK » tour.
2) you go back to see her some other day.
3) you extend my tour by one and a half hours so that I can include the Mona Lisa and many other paintings which are part of the regular orientation tour and/or the "Lust at the Louvre" tour. The thing is: four to five hours in a row in a museum is probably too much for you to cope with. We could therefore spend three hours inside the Louvre in the morning, have a nice (and short) break for lunch (trust me) and go back inside for another two to three hours (your ticket is valid all day). My challenge is: I can easily have you entertained all day at the Louvre and, tell me, how many people can boast that they had a private guide for themselves for a whole day at the Louvre? Your call.
And if you don't feel like going back in after lunch, we can go somewhere else. And, if you decide that you've had enough for the day, I never mind finishing early! And you won't mind either because, since you pay me by the hour, you'll save some money! It's a win-win situation, don't you think?
WARNING: this tour does not include Mona Lisa!
"Eva Prima Pandora" - Jean Cousin the elder - 1550
"Presumed portrait of Gabrielle d'Estrée and her sister" - Unknown - 1594
"Odalisque" - François Boucher - around 1745
"The lock" - Jean-Honoré Fragonard - 1777
IMPORTANT:
if you select this tour, please let me know (when you contact me) the number of Hostas you want me to apply.
This is a tour where you get a crash-course on
the Sex Lives Of (the) French Kings (SLOFK)
From Charles VII to Louis XIII, you'll learn all about their whims, their wives
and their "favorites" (the official and sort-of-politically-correct term for "mistresses").
I end this tour with Louis XIII because:
1) for the three following Louis, all is said in the "Vice at Versailles" tour (that you wouldn't want to miss).
2) with "just" Charles VII, Francis the first, Henri II, Henri III, Henri IV, Louis the thirteenth and several "special guests", there's already A LOT to (un)cover!
This tour takes place in the Richelieu/North Wing, the one remodelled by I.M. Pei (air-conditioning and escalators everywhere), where we almost never go to on a regular guided tour of the Louvre (because it’s far from the Italian paintings where the priority is always to see Mona). This new wing is where we find (on the second floor) the "naughty" French paintings of the 16th, 17th and 18th century. And, over there, not only will we avoid the big crowds and the herds of tour groups, but I will also have all the required quietness to whisper in your ears the exciting details concerning some of our « bon vivant » kings…
Ooo la la!!!
This tour lasts between 2 to 3 hours (depending on the time we have and the mood you're in).
Here below are a few of the paintings we can/should see (provided all the rooms are open that day):